


Alas I Cannot Swim

by neednot



Category: The Fall (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Oneshot, Regret
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-20
Updated: 2016-05-20
Packaged: 2018-06-09 15:08:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6912217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neednot/pseuds/neednot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's a life across the river that was meant for me<br/>Instead I live my life in constant misery. </p><p>Stella sees Reed a year later.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Alas I Cannot Swim

 

> _Theres a house across the river_  
>  _but alas, I cannot swim._  
>  _I'll live my life regretting that I never jumped in._

It’s the perfume she smells first. That perfume that used to make her head spin, a heady smell almost like gardenias.

Reed would never tell her where it was from. Stella thought she smelled it, once, but Reed’s always had a depth the department-store perfume Stella held in her hand never matched. 

But this—

She knows it’s Reed.

God.

Reed.

And suddenly the memories come rushing back, memories of late nights at her desk, Reed rubbing out the tension in her neck, her fingers brushing Stella’s blonde hair back, sometimes clucking her tongue like someone’s mother would because her hair was so dry and damaged. 

(later, Reed’s lips on her neck and her fingers tangled in Stella’s hair just the same despite her complaints)

But all good things must come to an end, and— 

She doesn’t want to think about their end. It was messy, like they were, like their lives were and Reed didn’t need more mess in her life. 

(and Stella knew she didn’t want to be the other woman, though she never said a word about it, Stella knew.) 

But this—this dark figure hurrying away from her on a crowded London street—

She knows it’s her. 

She didn’t think she’d ever see her again. She held out hope, sure, but Stella Gibson is a practical woman and she knew there’d be no late night call from Reed asking her to come back. Those are foolish notions, and when she was a girl she might have entertained them, but not now.

Stella Gibson is not often a woman left speechless. She prefers to do the leaving, the talking. Prefers to be in control. 

But Reed—

Reed was different. Reed gave her hope for something that might last.

And hope is a dangerous thing for a woman. The world likes to take hope between its fingers, grasp it, wring it out until there’s nothing left. 

So she hoped. Dammit. 

She doesn’t even know what she’d say to her if she stopped her. If they stopped. 

If she hurries now, she can catch her. If she hurries, if she runs, she can maybe rekindle what they had, maybe find the possibility of some sort of night together, if not some sort of future.

But she doesn’t.

Better to hold onto that hope, that fragile thing with wings beating beating in her hands, than to hold onto possibility.

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this is so short; promise I'll add more later. Kudos and comments always appreciated. <3


End file.
